This time of season has its special way of stirring up reflections of the year, giving us an opportunity to appreciate how much we have grown, or shed. Sometimes there may even be a flurry of haste adjusting the final weeks of the year to get it just right. Did my decisions bring me to the right place? What are the changes I am most proud of, or how about the ones haven’t yet been able to see?
It's an opportunity to love. Ourselves, our neighbors. It gives us a chance to pause and say, let’s just be great. Celebrate the times you’ve been able to rise with clarity, and pardon your mistakes when you were acting from a place where you didn’t intend to be.
There’s something of a magic in the way we share ourselves with the world, and the hard truth is, it’s a choice we make every day. You decide the love to nourish yourself with, and how you will show up to the world, how you share it with the world. It doesn’t have to be grand, but it has to be yours. And it must be pure.
Is it filled with joy as you hold someone’s hand? Or your own courage to get through some hard days? Is it practicing a simple way of staying present? A conversation with a stranger while in line to get coffee?
It’s nice to notice it, you might feel it if you close your eyes and sit with a quiet mind. You might feel it when you are at your desk at work and the sun hits your face just so. When you hang up from a lovely conversation on the phone. When you are out for a walk, and a pup wants to say hello… These exchanges are actually physical. A movement of spirit, or what I like to call magic.
The magic is always there, whether we are on the clouds of a new opportunity or in the trenches of dark moments. Though you may not feel your light right now, you must grant yourself permission of pace. To say it might not shine so bright today, but tomorrow is another day, and so is the next. And this decision of consistency is the most important gift we can provide for our magic, ourselves.
Last year was a challenging year beyond recognition. I recently found this piece of writing caught in the throws of that challenge and I want to share this with you all:
The Arena
What does it look like? Always wanted to know, what does the thing look like. The thing that won’t let me breathe, won’t let me leave, won’t even let me talk. You don’t get to see it though, like the Invisible Man the only time you see him is when he suits up. And the only time the thing suits up is in the arena. So that’s what I do every day, is get in the arena and there it is. Fear. And we fight. Hard. I loose most of the time. But that’s ok. I know what it looks like now, and every time it gets in the arena I’m getting in there too. And one day, I’m gonna fuck em up. I’m gonna fuck em up really bad. It’s going to stumble and grab me so it don’t fall. Then pull me in close and whisper in my ear, ain’t gonna be no rematch. Ain’t gonna be no rematch. **
For some, this writing may seem like every day. For some, it may feel dark and foreign. But this description of courage was and is still very true to me. And being reflective at how things have changed from 365 days ago, it’s an honor to be here in my magic today. I can’t be here today and not attribute magic to my growth. I appreciate being able to put a name to it, The Arena. The Invisible Man is the perspective and clarity I need every day.
Our magic is precious and concise. It is the very courage with which you attend your life to, your needs and of your community. Its home is your body and it will always be there. Ageless. It’s always there, unapologetically, with infinite shine. It was passed down from our ancestors, and chosen for our body. An ancient being in our modern body. I hope you all see it within you and others, and feel it, and enjoy relishing in it.
Love,
Margaret
**I don’t know where this writing came from, it was a lone Word Document in my files… not sure if it was copy-pasted from a source, transcribed from a movie, or if I was so shell shocked I forgot I wrote it in a moment of expression. Even with the help of AI, the search for the author was not successful…! If a reader out there knows who wrote this, please nudge me in the right direction.
